You can consciously decide who you want to be and the life you want to live.

We are often told who we should be and how we should live, by our families, by our peers, by our teachers, and by society.

Living by convictions of others is not the same as living by your own convictions.

There is a difference between: "I act because others want me to" and "I act because I want to". Acting to uphold others' external expectations is dependent on the presence of others' external prompts. Acting to uphold your own internal expectation is dependent only on your own conviction.

Do you want to live by the expectations of others, or do you want to live by expectations you decide for yourself?

Generally, I believe it's a matter of where. Where do you decide to adhere to others expectations and where do you decide to live by your own expectations?

What do I do?

I prefer to live by my own expectations.

I choose my expectations based on who I want to be, and what I want to put into the world.

There is no hiding from myself: when I don't live up to my expectations, I know. Rather than berate myself for my shortcomings, I am motivated to improve.

Deciding

There are many ways to live. How do you decide?

I don't know. The best I can do is pose questions for you to consider, and some musings.

Questions

  • How do you want to make other people feel?
  • How do you want to make yourself feel?
  • What do you want to make in the world?
  • What are you willing to do?
  • Where will you spend your time?

Musings

I find these questions challenging. It's often easier to make others expectations your own.